On Sudden Death

I am stunned. My friends, colleagues and many students from Trumansburg Schools are stunned at the untimely death of Matt McLennan, a jovial guy who wore many hats; athlete, friend, colleague, teacher, coach, father, and husband. I was really impressed by the line of people at calling hours today. There were many, many special education students and their parents in that line. Indeed a moving and powerful tribute to Matt's positive impact on the kids he taught and empowered. A young woman I encountered at the local grocery store asked how she could help with the memorial service tomorrow (she thinks I still work at school) and then proceeded to tell me how Matt McLennan saved her life; helped her to believe in herself, gave her confidence and the power to succeed. The reaches of that kind of impact are hard to imagine. Will she make smarter life decisions? Will she be a better parent when the time arises? These are the far reaching consequences of having had a caring mentor/cheerleader/teacher who makes one believe in oneself. Way to GO, Mr. McLennan! Well done. This is your legacy. Or one of them, for I suspect there are many, by the looks of the line going into the funeral home this afternoon.

We live our lives in happy denial about death during long phases of our lives. I suspect the McLennans were in that phase: young, healthy, their own parents around and vital, small children.... We don't often contemplate death or loss, if we are lucky enough to live a healthy life and surround ourselves with healthy folk. But unfortunately it's there, sometimes lurking in a seemingly random, completely unfair and inexplicable way. As my husband likes to say, "Nobody makes it out alive!"

My friend Cathryn who recently received a donor heart and has been given the ultimate gift of new life was feeling terrible survival guilt on the day she heard the news of Matt and another person's death. The other person was a heart recipient who wasn't as lucky as she. This child died. I reminded her that survival guilt is pointless, that
there seems to be an unexplainable randomness in the universe, a cold-hearted and arbitrary nature that snatches away really good people before (what we think is) their time. I am reminded of the people in my life: Deborah, Emily, Sally, Xeno, Paul, Therese, Collin, and now Matt, all taken away too soon. I don't like memorial services. I've been to too many recently.

What, if anything, is the message from all this crazy random and heartbreaking loss? I don't pretend to know the answer for you. I do know, for myself, that when this happens, it reminds me that every day is a gift, every child needs to be loved, everyone I love needs to be be told that- at regular and frequent intervals. I need to be mindful of how I spend my days, how I view my life, how I treat others. I need to be more generous, with myself and with others. I think Matt had a blessed life. He was luckier than some. A happy childhood, a successful athletic, scholastic and teaching career, vibrant social life and a wonderful family and homestead. He will be missed by many dear friends and especially his wife Angela and his
family.

Life each day as if it were your last. Because it just might be.

Rest in Peace Matt McLennan. I wish I had known you better.