Nathan

Nathan and I have been spending time together this week before he goes to New Zealand on Sunday. He seems to view me less like the demonic figure I think he thinks I used to be. I guess that's the only way I can rationally explain the rift that happened between the two of us. I have a theory that young people enter a dark winding cave when they go through adolescence. They stay in there for a time until they find their way out. There is no map, and they have to feel their way around in the dark for a while, but most emerge safely. I had a discussion with a friend this summer about this theory. She seems to think that if the child is a good kid before they enter this dark place (stable family, happy, consistently loved and cared for) they will emerge unscathed. Some teens are in the dark longer than others. Some seem to just waltz through easily, while others seem to get lost for years. We parents feel pretty helpless and worry a lot while peering fearfully into the tunnel. Our kids seem lost in the dark to us.

Surprise! The last couple of days have been really enjoyable. Maybe his turning 18 was truly a turning point. Perhaps it's not he, but I've changed. Who knows? Maybe it's the fact that he is legally responsible for himself now that he's 18. Whatever it is, I hope it lasts. Nathan is a cool guy.

When Robin and I were first married and living in Texas, we went to a chili cook-off at the house of a guy Robin worked with. We were in the land of jalapeno peppers, beer, pick up trucks and Good Ol' Boys, and we knew it. Or, if we didn't, we sure became aware of it when were told of our host's philosophy of child-rearing.

"Keep em' alive 'till they're 18, then kick 'em out of the house!"

Robin and I were more than a little shocked by this view. But we've never forgotten it, and have laughed over this for more than 20 years.

In New Zealand, Nathan will be enrolled in the National Outdoor Leadership School. He'll be earning college credit. He will be tested physically, mentally and spiritually in the wilderness. I know it will change his life. He's excited about it. We're excited about it. I don't sense any apprehension on his part. He's a pretty cool customer. Must be because he's a pretty cool guy.