I have a huge beef I want to get off my chest. I just turned 46, and I'm not very happy about it, honestly. I sometimes catch my reflection in a train as it hurtles past, or in a store window as I walk by and my first surprised reaction is: "Who is that old woman?" In my mind, I'm about 24. Here's the thing that naive little me has just discovered: everyone I know colors their hair. I took a poll recently at a lunch I was at, and everyone fessed up. Everyone but me.
I did color for a while. I remember one time I colored my hair, on a Thursday night before choir practice and Parker made a comment about the color. I think it was more in how he couldn't look away from my purply new hair. Then there was the time Robin made fun of the color I used as he sang Animal Fair: And the big baboon by the light of the moon was combing her auburn hair...Then about a year and a half ago now, I colored my hair right before our trip to Banff over the February break. I did it the night before we were to leave early in the morning. I accidentally got some of the smelly dye on my new glasses. The next morning, the lens was cracked and disintegrating from the drop of hair dye I had dripped on it, and then had wiped off. This was a wake-up call for me. If the chemicals I was putting on my scalp could destroy a pair of glasses, what were they doing to my skin? My body? My health? Every 30 washes or so I was repeating this madness. So I quit. Cold turkey. Luckily for me, the kind of wash-in color I used didn't leave roots, because it ALL washed out gradually over time. (I never really had the guts to get permanent color, so I guess I was a light-weight all along)
I remember a woman who was probably in her 30's who was a children's choir director at the First Presbyterian Church for about a year when I was very young. She had the coolest hair ever. It was really short, and very salt and peppery. She made it look so cool and chic. (What did I know? I wore boy's hand-me-downs and was probably less than 10) I think because of her, I always swore I would "grow old gracefully."
Frankly, the deck was stacked against me from the start. My Dad was almost completely white by the time he was 35. I have no memory of him except with white hair. Pure, blinding, Ivory Snow white. He was always easy to spot in a crowd. Shone like a beacon. My uncle and aunt also were white-haired at a very young age. Of course, my aunt colored her hair for years. In think she still does. I have no problem with this. My brothers are grey, but on them, it looks good, makes them look distinguished, regal. My red-headed brother has almost concluded his strange phase of silver and copper. It's almost all silver now.
I guess what I'm railing against today is the hypocrisy. I have been told by many women who dye their hair, and would never ever let anyone see a grey hair on them ever, that my grey is "unusual," or "beautiful," or some other %&##$@&! word. I have a hunch that if all the women in the world who color suddenly turned their natural tone, -POOF- there would be millions upon millions of "unusual" and "beautiful" silvery grey heads among us. (It's my secret fantasy) In March, I had to introduce a give-away salon treatment at the Tokyo Here and Now seminar I helped co-chair and had to read the phrase, "color correction" outloud. Well, that was kinda like pokin' a bear with a stick. I laughed at that phrase and pointed at my own head and made a comment (on mic) about how I didn't subscribe to that philosophy. Probably looked foolish, because I'll bet 75% of the women in the room "corrected" their color on a regular basis.
So I have a fierce love/hate relationship with my hair right now. I probably won't color it, but I wish I could see how much younger I would look if I did. Hiro, the guy who cut my hair at TAC advised me against it. He said most women who color have damaged hair. It burns it up and dries it out. Of course, I asked a bunch of leading questions while I was with him like, "Don't you think I would look soooo much better if I colored?" and "What color would look good on me??" I couldn't get him to bite the hook. If he had, I would have given in like a little baby lamb.
I saw a guy recently at the Taiko Event who I had met briefly in the Fall when we had a performance together at ASIJ. He remembered me because he had noticed my hair then, and had commented about how nice it was. When I saw him a week and a half ago, he commented again about how much he liked my hair. It was totally unsolicited, and completely sincere. But then again he's grey too.
Today's rant was brought to you by an entire day alone with no class, no rehearsal, and relaxed time to focus inward on my own completely insignificant personal and petty annoyances. Please accept my apologies.
I did color for a while. I remember one time I colored my hair, on a Thursday night before choir practice and Parker made a comment about the color. I think it was more in how he couldn't look away from my purply new hair. Then there was the time Robin made fun of the color I used as he sang Animal Fair: And the big baboon by the light of the moon was combing her auburn hair...Then about a year and a half ago now, I colored my hair right before our trip to Banff over the February break. I did it the night before we were to leave early in the morning. I accidentally got some of the smelly dye on my new glasses. The next morning, the lens was cracked and disintegrating from the drop of hair dye I had dripped on it, and then had wiped off. This was a wake-up call for me. If the chemicals I was putting on my scalp could destroy a pair of glasses, what were they doing to my skin? My body? My health? Every 30 washes or so I was repeating this madness. So I quit. Cold turkey. Luckily for me, the kind of wash-in color I used didn't leave roots, because it ALL washed out gradually over time. (I never really had the guts to get permanent color, so I guess I was a light-weight all along)
I remember a woman who was probably in her 30's who was a children's choir director at the First Presbyterian Church for about a year when I was very young. She had the coolest hair ever. It was really short, and very salt and peppery. She made it look so cool and chic. (What did I know? I wore boy's hand-me-downs and was probably less than 10) I think because of her, I always swore I would "grow old gracefully."
Frankly, the deck was stacked against me from the start. My Dad was almost completely white by the time he was 35. I have no memory of him except with white hair. Pure, blinding, Ivory Snow white. He was always easy to spot in a crowd. Shone like a beacon. My uncle and aunt also were white-haired at a very young age. Of course, my aunt colored her hair for years. In think she still does. I have no problem with this. My brothers are grey, but on them, it looks good, makes them look distinguished, regal. My red-headed brother has almost concluded his strange phase of silver and copper. It's almost all silver now.
I guess what I'm railing against today is the hypocrisy. I have been told by many women who dye their hair, and would never ever let anyone see a grey hair on them ever, that my grey is "unusual," or "beautiful," or some other %&##$@&! word. I have a hunch that if all the women in the world who color suddenly turned their natural tone, -POOF- there would be millions upon millions of "unusual" and "beautiful" silvery grey heads among us. (It's my secret fantasy) In March, I had to introduce a give-away salon treatment at the Tokyo Here and Now seminar I helped co-chair and had to read the phrase, "color correction" outloud. Well, that was kinda like pokin' a bear with a stick. I laughed at that phrase and pointed at my own head and made a comment (on mic) about how I didn't subscribe to that philosophy. Probably looked foolish, because I'll bet 75% of the women in the room "corrected" their color on a regular basis.
So I have a fierce love/hate relationship with my hair right now. I probably won't color it, but I wish I could see how much younger I would look if I did. Hiro, the guy who cut my hair at TAC advised me against it. He said most women who color have damaged hair. It burns it up and dries it out. Of course, I asked a bunch of leading questions while I was with him like, "Don't you think I would look soooo much better if I colored?" and "What color would look good on me??" I couldn't get him to bite the hook. If he had, I would have given in like a little baby lamb.
I saw a guy recently at the Taiko Event who I had met briefly in the Fall when we had a performance together at ASIJ. He remembered me because he had noticed my hair then, and had commented about how nice it was. When I saw him a week and a half ago, he commented again about how much he liked my hair. It was totally unsolicited, and completely sincere. But then again he's grey too.
Today's rant was brought to you by an entire day alone with no class, no rehearsal, and relaxed time to focus inward on my own completely insignificant personal and petty annoyances. Please accept my apologies.
2 comments:
When I started getting grey hairs, I was shocked. I desperately tried to color my hair just to hide the grey. But it was a nuisance. So I gave it up and I am quite happy about it. I no longer worry about what people think about my age.
Hi Alice,
You look great! I think I'm still getting used to the grey haired you but I have to say the "being really real" part of going grey is nothing new to the Alice Ploss I know.
So sorry I haven't been in touch more. Russ keeps me up to date and Penny too. It sounds like you are having a wonderful time...and well deserved.
I'm enjoying working motherhood very much except when it's really hard like this weekend with NYSSMA and stuff. Hope you get a chance to keep up with Evan on our blog. I must say he is a cutie.
Take care, keep in touch and all that.
Sarah
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